I am a 37 year old single Mother that has been clean from crack cocaine for a year and a half. It
started with crank in the late 80's, I began to use in an effort to lose weight and to help maintain my
70-80 hour work week. I started out using just a little through the week to get me by. Before I knew it
I was using on the weekends to go clubbing. It wasn't long after that when I started using Ecstacy and
snorting cocaine. I picked cocaine as my drug of choice along with constant drinking. I was married
at 18 and my husband and I started going on serious binges with cocaine all during the week and
weekends too, before long no matter how many hours we both worked we couldn't afford the lifestyle
we had chosen, ultimately we divorced. I snorted cocaine for 9 years, remarried, cleaned myself up
long enough to give birth (maintained sobriety during my pregnancy by the grace of God). While
pregnant my husband started smoking crack, and as an addict I guarantee!
d myself that as soon as I gave birth I would try it. Well a week after delivery....I did.....loved it and
was hooked. Ultimately, that marriage failed to, I moved a couple of hours away from my own
hometown in an effort to hide from the drug and clean myself up. I wasn't in my new residence for a
day until I knew where to find crack again. So, the night I moved into my new home, I did the one
thing I tried to get away from.....I smoked Crack. For so long, I was able to go get it, come home and
smoke it and go un-noticed. One day that all changed when I went to pick up and decided to do a hit
before I drove back home, I got stuck in cracktown, too high to get back home, I was there for 3 days.
Over the course of about 3 years, I'd go to pick up on the weekends that my x-husband had our son,
and I would get stuck in a crack house all weekend, smoking, loaning out my vehicle, taking people to
steal things so that we could smoke. It was complete insanity. I was finally busted, spent sometime
in a residential rehab, and today am happier then I have ever been in my life. I am free of the bonds
of drugs and my life is anew. I used for a total of 21 years straight, so if I can get clean anybody can.
It takes inner strength, a higher power (that I choose to call God) and a huge support system. But
today, I can look people straight in the eye and I feel no shame, God sent me the route in life he did
for a reason, today I'm still figuring it out, but it gets clearer and clearer with everyday that I have
clean. God Bless. You too, can do it.
Anonymous
_______________________________________________________________________________
My husband struggled with a addiction to Crystal Meth most of his life .. on Oct 16, 2004 his struggled
ended .. Not in his recovery,but in his death .. Meth slowly and painfully stripped him of all
that he had, loved and was .. it took and took and took from him ..He had nothing left that amounted
to anything EXCEPT his life .. the nit took that too.
I would like to invite you to come by and visit his online memorial website that was created by me in
his memory ... it is complete with pictures of our family .. him as well as others that have lost their
precious lives to meth ... You can light a virtual candle or leave a condolence if you'd like .. there is
also a lot of wonderful informational links .. including a link to a FREE REHAB ...
Before I go .. I would like to plant a seed of thought in the heads of those on here that might be active
in their addiction to meth ..
Meth can and does kill and unfortunately too many people follow the devils harlot straight to their
grave ..Recovery is hard, but is possible .. Recover can and does happen ..
In Memory Of William Scott Simmons
Oct 22, 1957 - Oct 16, 2004
http://www.scotty-simmons.memory-of.com
May his story speak to your heart,
Sher AKA Passion
Recovering addict
________________________________________________________________________________
Hello! I am a recovering meth user. I was a user of meth for 10 long years. Thank GOD I am still here
today. I never realized how much harm it was doing to me until I actually got away from it and watched
everyone around me,just fall apart!! DFACS stepped in over 2 yrs ago, right after I had my son. They
made me do a hair folicle test. I went through substance abuse. It helped for a while. Then I started
doing it behind my husbands back. When he found out, I almost lost the best thing that has ever
happened to me. Now I want nothing more than to try to help someone else. I'm really thinking that
GOD wants me to!!!! It will also help me in my recovery. I no longer have the desire for what it does to
me or the people around me anymore. After the knowledge I've received from both this website and
GAMETH.com, I can honestly say that I am thanking GOD every day to be alive. He and I only know
the harmful things I've done to myself. Now I want to share it with everyone.
Sincerely, Sonya Hayes -Leesburg, Ga.
_______________________________________________________________________________
My testimony is I know doing it was bad for me, but I continued. In 2004, I was on it really bad. I got to
where I didn't want to take care of my little girl. I know I was a bad mother. March 23rd of that year I
was also in a almost fatal car accident. I broke my neck and pelvis not to mention that if I haven't took
my daughter to my dad's she would have gotten killed in that accident. We were doing so much the
day before and of course abusing it. I did an "50" by myself. Not only that the driver of "my car" was
up for 28 days that is just unbelievable. I can't even see the stuff without wanting to just throw up, but
the temptations are still there and I have relapsed once, but since then I condemn the stuff.
Anonymous
_______________________________________________________________________________
I am 31 years old and I have been clean for a year and a half. Two and a half years ago my hell
started. Going through a bitter divorce I was looking for a comfort. I have three children, two boys
and one girl. At the time my self esteem was so low. Meth seemed to be the only thing I cared
about. My habit was up to $1000.000 a week. My best friend convinced me to let my parents take
care of my children. I was not admitting to anyone that I was on drugs. After living from motel to
motel my life became unbearable. One night, talking to my best friend I wanted to end my life. She
advised me to call my parents for help. The next day I checked myself into a rehab, with my dad's
help. When I was released there was no where for me to go. My parents were afraid to take me into
thier home. Thank god they let me come home! I needed support to stay off the meth. It is still hard
to function daily. Meth had an effect on my brain that is for sure. Now I hav! e a seizure disorder
that require's me to take medication daily. I was perfectly healthy before that poison was put into my
body. If I could say someone who is battling this addiction...please stop! Ask for help! It won't be
easy, but you will survive. I am alive today and here to testify to that. I thank my family and friends
for being a rock to lean on, and my lord jesus christ. Look to the lord for guidance...he will never
steer you wrong.
Amy Blocker
Amydennardblocker@yahoo.com
________________________________________________________________________________
My name is Ashley, I am a mother of two awesome girls! I am also a recovering meth addict! I am 21
years old! When I frist started meth I was 19 and I was in college full time and working full time and a
full time mother! My boyfriend was in prison and he came home in march
of 2004 and he was doing great for about 4 months! He started going out partying and not coming
home for a day or two and stealing money from me for drugs! I threanted to kick him out and he
would sweet talk and I would let him stay! He would talk me into snorting some lines with him,
so i tried it a few times, a few time turned into the weekend the weekend turned into a few time during
the week, i quit school cause i couldnt keep up and i was failing, i lost my job, my family seen a
problem and took my kids! My addiction over took me! In a period of 4-5 months I lost everything!!!!! I
lost my house! We were living with his grandma and still doing drugs! Finally one day he got arrested
and I ! had no where to go i hadnt seen my kids in months! I called one of my
old friends up and she let me stay with her! My addiction lasted for about 9 months! I started going to
church, going to treatment, and i started seeing my kids on a regular basis! God lefted me up out of
the deepest drakest pit you could imange! I was baker acted at one time, i was in detox for about 5
days and for about 2 of them days i didnt know where i was or how i got there! I was always thinking
someone was after me and following me, i thought people were out in the woods hiding and
looking in the window! It took my life! God has given my life back! He has given me and my kids a new
life!! I now own a house a d have a great job as a mortgage broker and seeing a great man ho loves
the Lord and hopefully soon getting married, i am about to go back to school to be a
sex and drug counslor! God has turned the nasty ugly drak past of drug abuse into something i can
use to help others! God is awesome!! I DO NOT USE ANY DRUGS!!!! It takes everything from you! I
am 5' i got down to 90lbs! I looked horible! I looked like death! God has breathed life back into me!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
5th Grader at Mt.Yonah Elementary
I’m in Fifth grade. I am going to tell you how drugs affected my life. Ever since I was small drugs have
mess my life up a lot. Some ways are fear, emotion, and all kinds of things. Drugs are very bad for
anybody. Drugs have caused me to go to Foster care, harassment and being separated from my
brothers and parents. When I came to live here in North Georgia, I kept thinking is there a way to tell
others not to use drugs? From someone who knows what it is like to be affected by them. Then I said
I can use my testimony to tell people and to influence them. I turned my life around by meeting my
mom and day Micheal and Teresa. Another way is by going to church where I gave my heart to Jesus.
And all the praise and glory for turning my life around should go to him. Drugs mess many people up
because they think there cool. Well there not. Take it from someone who knows.
AND DON’T DO DRUGS, unless you want to end up scrubbing tubs in jail.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TESTIMONY
i came from a dysfunctional family. my dad beat me almost every night because he was too drunk and
too cracked out to relize he was beating on a four year old. my mom worked everyday from 3pm to
3am. so she was never home. living with this abuse was horable. every time i would get beat he told
me he did it becaused he loved me. thats they love and affection i got from my pops.i
had a a hard childhood and no one knew what he was doing to me and my sister. no one knew we
were getting beat every night. the bruises were always blamed on rough housing with the neighbors
and when i got older i would blame it on gymnastics.i was experimenting at an early age. i started
smoking cigarettes by the age of 9 and pot by the age of 10. i quit when i started to do gymnastics.
but after i quit gymnastics i was right back where i started. i never thought i would get into drugs as
bad as i was. i thought i would just smoke pot and thats it. by the age of 13 i was addicted to cocaine.
i couldnt live a day w/o it seemed like. i would go crazy. cocaine got a little boring after a while and it
didnt last long either so i started experimenting again. i found methamphetamines. the first time i ever
tried meth me and my best friend PROMISED if we ever try it again our frinedship would be
obliterated. well we didnt do it for like 3-4 days and we were doing it again. we did it for 14 1/2 days
nonstop and no sleep. it was halloween when everything went down hill. well we've been up for days
on right well your mind doesnt function right after 3 days. my friend went nuts literally. she was
suppose to be home at 630am and she wasnt so her dad called asking were she was
and she didnt know. she didnt know who she was where she was or what she was saying. this was
nov.1,2004. when finally she decided to walk home he dad found her and took her to the drug lab.
she got a piss test and showed up dirty for meth coke pot mdma and alcohol. we were fucked. well
her dad blamed everything one me and we were never aloud to hang out again. it was all because we
did meth after our promise. well i quit for like 3 months i though ti was done for good. well my
neighborhood started doing it so i thought it would ok if i did it just one more time. well that one more
time led to 8 months. i dropped out of school lost all my REAL friends and got kicked out of
my house. i was living on the streets at 14 years old. sleeping in slides at the parks and drug dealers
houses. i hit rock bottom and i knew it. i tried to get clean but i didnt have the will power. so i thought
the only way to get off the drug was to die so i tried to commit suicide serveral times and ended up in
the hospital. it still didnt work. i was hooked for good i thought. well months on and i still smoked and
snorted meth until i got to the weight of 68 lbs. i had to quit my body was disolving right in front of my
eyes. i decided to move out of las vegas to a small town with a population of 5000, dillon montana.
this place has helped my so much. ive been sober for 1 1/3 year and back in school. my life is so
much better now. i can actually breathe! i wont graduate though becuz i fucked up to bad when i lived
in las vegas but thats ok im just glad im clean and happy to live! so please if my story touched you
some way at all dont do meth the first hit is never the last... i fucked up my life at a way too young of
an age and i regret every single bit of it now no joke... Just say no...
-michelle dollack
16 years old
dillon montana
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Testimony = I was never an addict
I was a pretty normal teenager. I tried weed when I was 18 and didn't really get that interested in it.
When I decided that it wasn't for me I tried X, and that wasn't for me either, so Meth. was what was
next. I had the biggest crush on a boy from High School. He was Popular, he had a fast car, and a
charming personality. The sun came and went in his eyes. We were together all the time like two peas
in a pod.
At first meth was a way to stay up all night and talk and not be sleepy, so he could get his everyday
task plus more done. Then when it started wearing off he did more and more then by morning he had
to do another line to get through the day with out feeling crapy. I tried it when he did it a few times. I
loved spending every waking min. with him. Sometimes I would even stay up with him and be totally
sober, just to be with him. It was never about the drugs or the high to me. When I told him I didnt like it
and that I didn't want to do it that night he would get mad, and accuse me of being the law. He always
thought I was out to get him. He was Enraged all the time. He talked about me behind my back and
wanted to be friends with the people who used him constantly, for everything, I couldnt deal with it
anymore. We fell appart.
Me and his sister seemed to fall into it together. Her husband used Meth. and ultimately he is the one
who introduced it to her and her brother. Anyway, when my true love didnt want to spend time with me
cause he was geeked up with his meth buddies I was spending my time with his sister and her two
young children. She was going through a divorce and having a hard time with her new boy friend, so
when she found someone other than them two who made her feel better about herself, she started
hanging around him more and more. He was a Meth dealer. She didnt like the drug, it always made
her throw up cause it drained down her throat. So I never figured that she would become addicted to
it. But my worst fears became a reality. She used with them smoking it and snorting it. She looked
awful. She left her parents house and left her children behind, and left me behind. I loved her as
much as I possibly could. I tried to help her all the time. I took money and food from her boyfriend !
to her at her dealers house. I never understood why, I thought it was just a wild streak that she didnt
get over after her divorce. When the dealer got caught the third time the judge said enough. He sent
him to bootcamp for 6 months that was in Feburary 2005, my friend was on her way to getting her
kids back and getting her own place to live. Trying very hard to prove that she was able to be on her
own and off of meth. July 2005 we looked at our soon to be appartment on Friday the 22nd of July. I
was so excited we were getting our own place. Monday the 25th we were putting the deposit down.
But we never made it that far. Saturday the 24th day of July my friend was in a car accident after
getting in the car with one of the dealers friends who had been drinking and using meth.. He fled the
scene of the accident after stealing the car of someone who was trying to help her. She told the
paramedics who was driving and that they had just done a hit of Crystal Meth each. She was!
flown to a medical center in Atlanta with suvere head trauma. The cor
otic arteries in her neck were severed ultimately causing a stroke and then 100% brain pressure
before we all made the decision to discontinue life support after 4 days of her suffering. But it was to
late for her, God was calling my angel friend home. I got to hold her hand once before the stroke
while she was awake long enough to tell her I loved her, and to squeezed my hand if she could hear
me. She squeezed my hand and looked up at me so scared. That felt like hope to me. I lost two
people that day. Her and myself. She died physically and I died emotionally. Its been one year and 5
months the 27th of Dec. I feel like there was something else I could have done for her, pushed her a
little harder to stay quit. I miss her everyday, and I honestly believe had it not been for the meth
addiction that she would be here healthy and happy today.
I dont know what its like to be an addict. But I know what its like loosing someone close to you
because of it, its worse than anything you could ever imagine.
PLEASE DONT USE METH. IT WILL KILL YOU. NOT ONLY WILL IT HARM YOUR BODY. BUT IT WILL
RIP YOUR LIFE APPART BEOYND REPAIR.
-Northeast Georgia
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name = Janice
Testimony = My Story of Addiction
By Janice H.
I started writing this as part of my recovery and partly to free my mind of the many thoughts that have
been bombarding it of late. But the more I thought about it I decided that this should be a letter to
anyone who would listen and maybe be able to use it in their lives either for themselves or for a loved
one. I am an addicted and this is my story.
Let me begin by giving you some background. I am 30 years old, and most of my life I had used
recreational drugs. I used them socially like having a few drinks every now and then or smoking a
joint at a party or maybe dropping a hit of ecstasy at a rave, but it never consumed my life. That was
until this year. That was until I discovered ICE! Now what I am about to tell you may seem like
excuses or me trying to rationalize my loss of self control but what I am really trying to get across is
how quickly and easily (especially if giving the right conditions) this drug can ruin your life.
When the year began I had a great job, a nice home, two cars, and a wonderful family. My family
consisted of my husband Danny, and my four children, Dalton, Dylan, and my two step-children Ethan
and Madison. We had it all the nice six bedroom house, the minivan, and truck everything seem to be
going well, on the surface. The truth was that Danny had not worked for awhile and the bills were
starting to add up. Then in January I was fired. Now at this time my ice usage was becoming more
frequent but I knew I had it under control (that is the deception of this drug). I was fired because my
boss found I was looking for another job but now that I think about it, it was probably for more than
just that. I had missed work on several occasions or come in late because I had not got enough
sleep. Whatever the reason I was fired. So my stress was unbelievable. How was I going to feed my
family or pay my bills? I felt my world crashing in on me and that night I got very, very twea!
ked out on ice and what do you know POOF! All of my worries seemed to disappear. I felt great like I
could take on the world! So my usage became pretty much non-stop.
Time went bye and I got another job and was squeezing bye but all the while I new I had it under
control. Then in September I was laid-off due to cut backs, but it was ok I was still in control. I new I
had it under control when my tire blew out on the way home form my dealer’s, house and caused me
to total my car. When Danny and I were drifting farther and farther apart even in our usage together I
still had control. When I fell asleep behind the wheel and totaled our second car and went to jail for
possession and a DUI I still had control. When the mortgage payment fell behind I was still ok. Now
that I look back on it I was such a fool! I did not waiver in my thought of control until one fateful day
when CPS came knocking on my door! I tested positive and I had to place my kids in the care of my
friends and family! It seems someone had contacted them as to our drug use.
So here it is December and I have ruined everything in my life. I am living in a hotel (did not pay the
mortgage), I am on probation for the next four years and I have felony arrest (not a conviction mind
you just an arrest) that makes it very difficult to find a job. My step-father has not spoke to me since
May and will not even allow me at my parents’ house. My friends have lost some faith in me, and I
have to fight with the side effects of my use (depression, anxiety, and trouble controlling my anger
which I am told can last up to 12-18 months after being clean). Worst of all my children are gone!!
My step-children I have lost custody of completely!!
Now I am not telling this for sympathy. I chose to do what I did and I take full responsibility for it.
What I want to stress here is how this drug completely fooled me! I never once thought IT had
control. But that is the power of this drug. It affects your brain and the way you think and rationalize.
Oh sure I was getting a lot accomplished staying up 2-3 days in a row with no sleep but at what price?
That is the nature of this drug.
Now I have been completely clean of every drug since September when they took my kids, but it is no
picnic. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do and it sucks. I am 30 years old and I have to start
my life all over again. Danny is working and with the drug use out of our lives our relationship is
mending and growing stronger. I am still looking for a job but I know I will find something soon. But
most important I am doing what I have to to get my other 2 children back and hopefully maybe one
day ALL of my children back. It is very hard to sit in this hotel room without my children and hardly
any of my worldly possessions and not be consumed by my depression. But I will do it because I know
now that my family is my only priority no matter what. I will not use any kind of drug ever again for
fear that this may happen again. But it is still the hardest challenge I have ever faced in my life.
If you have never used drugs it is hard for you to understand addiction and I don’t have the desire to
try and explain it to you but just remember this, that if you have a loved one going through recovery
and/or addiction they need all the support that you can give them and try to remember that they are
literally battling for their lives!!!
If you do use drugs even socially please listen to me, IF I LOST CONTROL ANYONE COULD!!! This
drug is 80-90% addictive after first use! The damage it does to your mind and body not only
physically but mentally as well can take years to fix and in some cases the damage is NOT fixable. So
please don’t let ICE destroy your life the way it has done mine! I highly suggest you read the book
“Crystal Meth They Call It Ice” by Mary F. Holley, MD. It was quite an eye opener for me.
Well that is my story and I hope someone out there will be able to learn from my mistakes. I know that
it is hard to stay clean because reality is a real bitch sometimes, well, most of the times. But I have
come to realize that it does not matter what people are saying about you, and believe me everyone is
talking about your problem and your life, all that matters is stay true to yourself and to the ones you
hold dearest to you. This will be a battle that you will have to face for the rest of your life! I know
because I am living it everyday! But I hope and feel that with time and sobriety that all will get better.
After all once you have hit rock bottom the only way is up right? When everything first began to go
wrong I spent a lot of time thinking that I had done someone wrong. That some action of mine in the
past had brought this string of bad luck onto me but I know now that I have to stop with that kind of
thinking. I am a strong believer in Karma and I know that!
everything happens for a reason, if CPS had not taken my kids what may have happened to them
during my addiction? If they were here with me know they would be cramped in a one room hotel
room feeling the stress of their parents but instead they are with family and friends in a loving and
caring environment while mommy and daddy get their lives straightened out. I am glad that
something happened to open my eyes to what I could not see on my own. I am grateful that my
children are happy and healthy and I know that I will be able to bring them home soon! With hard
work and love I will rebuild my family and my life!
Remember be true to yourself and have faith in Karma!!
Love,
Janice
started with crank in the late 80's, I began to use in an effort to lose weight and to help maintain my
70-80 hour work week. I started out using just a little through the week to get me by. Before I knew it
I was using on the weekends to go clubbing. It wasn't long after that when I started using Ecstacy and
snorting cocaine. I picked cocaine as my drug of choice along with constant drinking. I was married
at 18 and my husband and I started going on serious binges with cocaine all during the week and
weekends too, before long no matter how many hours we both worked we couldn't afford the lifestyle
we had chosen, ultimately we divorced. I snorted cocaine for 9 years, remarried, cleaned myself up
long enough to give birth (maintained sobriety during my pregnancy by the grace of God). While
pregnant my husband started smoking crack, and as an addict I guarantee!
d myself that as soon as I gave birth I would try it. Well a week after delivery....I did.....loved it and
was hooked. Ultimately, that marriage failed to, I moved a couple of hours away from my own
hometown in an effort to hide from the drug and clean myself up. I wasn't in my new residence for a
day until I knew where to find crack again. So, the night I moved into my new home, I did the one
thing I tried to get away from.....I smoked Crack. For so long, I was able to go get it, come home and
smoke it and go un-noticed. One day that all changed when I went to pick up and decided to do a hit
before I drove back home, I got stuck in cracktown, too high to get back home, I was there for 3 days.
Over the course of about 3 years, I'd go to pick up on the weekends that my x-husband had our son,
and I would get stuck in a crack house all weekend, smoking, loaning out my vehicle, taking people to
steal things so that we could smoke. It was complete insanity. I was finally busted, spent sometime
in a residential rehab, and today am happier then I have ever been in my life. I am free of the bonds
of drugs and my life is anew. I used for a total of 21 years straight, so if I can get clean anybody can.
It takes inner strength, a higher power (that I choose to call God) and a huge support system. But
today, I can look people straight in the eye and I feel no shame, God sent me the route in life he did
for a reason, today I'm still figuring it out, but it gets clearer and clearer with everyday that I have
clean. God Bless. You too, can do it.
Anonymous
_______________________________________________________________________________
My husband struggled with a addiction to Crystal Meth most of his life .. on Oct 16, 2004 his struggled
ended .. Not in his recovery,but in his death .. Meth slowly and painfully stripped him of all
that he had, loved and was .. it took and took and took from him ..He had nothing left that amounted
to anything EXCEPT his life .. the nit took that too.
I would like to invite you to come by and visit his online memorial website that was created by me in
his memory ... it is complete with pictures of our family .. him as well as others that have lost their
precious lives to meth ... You can light a virtual candle or leave a condolence if you'd like .. there is
also a lot of wonderful informational links .. including a link to a FREE REHAB ...
Before I go .. I would like to plant a seed of thought in the heads of those on here that might be active
in their addiction to meth ..
Meth can and does kill and unfortunately too many people follow the devils harlot straight to their
grave ..Recovery is hard, but is possible .. Recover can and does happen ..
In Memory Of William Scott Simmons
Oct 22, 1957 - Oct 16, 2004
http://www.scotty-simmons.memory-of.com
May his story speak to your heart,
Sher AKA Passion
Recovering addict
________________________________________________________________________________
Hello! I am a recovering meth user. I was a user of meth for 10 long years. Thank GOD I am still here
today. I never realized how much harm it was doing to me until I actually got away from it and watched
everyone around me,just fall apart!! DFACS stepped in over 2 yrs ago, right after I had my son. They
made me do a hair folicle test. I went through substance abuse. It helped for a while. Then I started
doing it behind my husbands back. When he found out, I almost lost the best thing that has ever
happened to me. Now I want nothing more than to try to help someone else. I'm really thinking that
GOD wants me to!!!! It will also help me in my recovery. I no longer have the desire for what it does to
me or the people around me anymore. After the knowledge I've received from both this website and
GAMETH.com, I can honestly say that I am thanking GOD every day to be alive. He and I only know
the harmful things I've done to myself. Now I want to share it with everyone.
Sincerely, Sonya Hayes -Leesburg, Ga.
_______________________________________________________________________________
My testimony is I know doing it was bad for me, but I continued. In 2004, I was on it really bad. I got to
where I didn't want to take care of my little girl. I know I was a bad mother. March 23rd of that year I
was also in a almost fatal car accident. I broke my neck and pelvis not to mention that if I haven't took
my daughter to my dad's she would have gotten killed in that accident. We were doing so much the
day before and of course abusing it. I did an "50" by myself. Not only that the driver of "my car" was
up for 28 days that is just unbelievable. I can't even see the stuff without wanting to just throw up, but
the temptations are still there and I have relapsed once, but since then I condemn the stuff.
Anonymous
_______________________________________________________________________________
I am 31 years old and I have been clean for a year and a half. Two and a half years ago my hell
started. Going through a bitter divorce I was looking for a comfort. I have three children, two boys
and one girl. At the time my self esteem was so low. Meth seemed to be the only thing I cared
about. My habit was up to $1000.000 a week. My best friend convinced me to let my parents take
care of my children. I was not admitting to anyone that I was on drugs. After living from motel to
motel my life became unbearable. One night, talking to my best friend I wanted to end my life. She
advised me to call my parents for help. The next day I checked myself into a rehab, with my dad's
help. When I was released there was no where for me to go. My parents were afraid to take me into
thier home. Thank god they let me come home! I needed support to stay off the meth. It is still hard
to function daily. Meth had an effect on my brain that is for sure. Now I hav! e a seizure disorder
that require's me to take medication daily. I was perfectly healthy before that poison was put into my
body. If I could say someone who is battling this addiction...please stop! Ask for help! It won't be
easy, but you will survive. I am alive today and here to testify to that. I thank my family and friends
for being a rock to lean on, and my lord jesus christ. Look to the lord for guidance...he will never
steer you wrong.
Amy Blocker
Amydennardblocker@yahoo.com
________________________________________________________________________________
My name is Ashley, I am a mother of two awesome girls! I am also a recovering meth addict! I am 21
years old! When I frist started meth I was 19 and I was in college full time and working full time and a
full time mother! My boyfriend was in prison and he came home in march
of 2004 and he was doing great for about 4 months! He started going out partying and not coming
home for a day or two and stealing money from me for drugs! I threanted to kick him out and he
would sweet talk and I would let him stay! He would talk me into snorting some lines with him,
so i tried it a few times, a few time turned into the weekend the weekend turned into a few time during
the week, i quit school cause i couldnt keep up and i was failing, i lost my job, my family seen a
problem and took my kids! My addiction over took me! In a period of 4-5 months I lost everything!!!!! I
lost my house! We were living with his grandma and still doing drugs! Finally one day he got arrested
and I ! had no where to go i hadnt seen my kids in months! I called one of my
old friends up and she let me stay with her! My addiction lasted for about 9 months! I started going to
church, going to treatment, and i started seeing my kids on a regular basis! God lefted me up out of
the deepest drakest pit you could imange! I was baker acted at one time, i was in detox for about 5
days and for about 2 of them days i didnt know where i was or how i got there! I was always thinking
someone was after me and following me, i thought people were out in the woods hiding and
looking in the window! It took my life! God has given my life back! He has given me and my kids a new
life!! I now own a house a d have a great job as a mortgage broker and seeing a great man ho loves
the Lord and hopefully soon getting married, i am about to go back to school to be a
sex and drug counslor! God has turned the nasty ugly drak past of drug abuse into something i can
use to help others! God is awesome!! I DO NOT USE ANY DRUGS!!!! It takes everything from you! I
am 5' i got down to 90lbs! I looked horible! I looked like death! God has breathed life back into me!
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5th Grader at Mt.Yonah Elementary
I’m in Fifth grade. I am going to tell you how drugs affected my life. Ever since I was small drugs have
mess my life up a lot. Some ways are fear, emotion, and all kinds of things. Drugs are very bad for
anybody. Drugs have caused me to go to Foster care, harassment and being separated from my
brothers and parents. When I came to live here in North Georgia, I kept thinking is there a way to tell
others not to use drugs? From someone who knows what it is like to be affected by them. Then I said
I can use my testimony to tell people and to influence them. I turned my life around by meeting my
mom and day Micheal and Teresa. Another way is by going to church where I gave my heart to Jesus.
And all the praise and glory for turning my life around should go to him. Drugs mess many people up
because they think there cool. Well there not. Take it from someone who knows.
AND DON’T DO DRUGS, unless you want to end up scrubbing tubs in jail.
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TESTIMONY
i came from a dysfunctional family. my dad beat me almost every night because he was too drunk and
too cracked out to relize he was beating on a four year old. my mom worked everyday from 3pm to
3am. so she was never home. living with this abuse was horable. every time i would get beat he told
me he did it becaused he loved me. thats they love and affection i got from my pops.i
had a a hard childhood and no one knew what he was doing to me and my sister. no one knew we
were getting beat every night. the bruises were always blamed on rough housing with the neighbors
and when i got older i would blame it on gymnastics.i was experimenting at an early age. i started
smoking cigarettes by the age of 9 and pot by the age of 10. i quit when i started to do gymnastics.
but after i quit gymnastics i was right back where i started. i never thought i would get into drugs as
bad as i was. i thought i would just smoke pot and thats it. by the age of 13 i was addicted to cocaine.
i couldnt live a day w/o it seemed like. i would go crazy. cocaine got a little boring after a while and it
didnt last long either so i started experimenting again. i found methamphetamines. the first time i ever
tried meth me and my best friend PROMISED if we ever try it again our frinedship would be
obliterated. well we didnt do it for like 3-4 days and we were doing it again. we did it for 14 1/2 days
nonstop and no sleep. it was halloween when everything went down hill. well we've been up for days
on right well your mind doesnt function right after 3 days. my friend went nuts literally. she was
suppose to be home at 630am and she wasnt so her dad called asking were she was
and she didnt know. she didnt know who she was where she was or what she was saying. this was
nov.1,2004. when finally she decided to walk home he dad found her and took her to the drug lab.
she got a piss test and showed up dirty for meth coke pot mdma and alcohol. we were fucked. well
her dad blamed everything one me and we were never aloud to hang out again. it was all because we
did meth after our promise. well i quit for like 3 months i though ti was done for good. well my
neighborhood started doing it so i thought it would ok if i did it just one more time. well that one more
time led to 8 months. i dropped out of school lost all my REAL friends and got kicked out of
my house. i was living on the streets at 14 years old. sleeping in slides at the parks and drug dealers
houses. i hit rock bottom and i knew it. i tried to get clean but i didnt have the will power. so i thought
the only way to get off the drug was to die so i tried to commit suicide serveral times and ended up in
the hospital. it still didnt work. i was hooked for good i thought. well months on and i still smoked and
snorted meth until i got to the weight of 68 lbs. i had to quit my body was disolving right in front of my
eyes. i decided to move out of las vegas to a small town with a population of 5000, dillon montana.
this place has helped my so much. ive been sober for 1 1/3 year and back in school. my life is so
much better now. i can actually breathe! i wont graduate though becuz i fucked up to bad when i lived
in las vegas but thats ok im just glad im clean and happy to live! so please if my story touched you
some way at all dont do meth the first hit is never the last... i fucked up my life at a way too young of
an age and i regret every single bit of it now no joke... Just say no...
-michelle dollack
16 years old
dillon montana
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Testimony = I was never an addict
I was a pretty normal teenager. I tried weed when I was 18 and didn't really get that interested in it.
When I decided that it wasn't for me I tried X, and that wasn't for me either, so Meth. was what was
next. I had the biggest crush on a boy from High School. He was Popular, he had a fast car, and a
charming personality. The sun came and went in his eyes. We were together all the time like two peas
in a pod.
At first meth was a way to stay up all night and talk and not be sleepy, so he could get his everyday
task plus more done. Then when it started wearing off he did more and more then by morning he had
to do another line to get through the day with out feeling crapy. I tried it when he did it a few times. I
loved spending every waking min. with him. Sometimes I would even stay up with him and be totally
sober, just to be with him. It was never about the drugs or the high to me. When I told him I didnt like it
and that I didn't want to do it that night he would get mad, and accuse me of being the law. He always
thought I was out to get him. He was Enraged all the time. He talked about me behind my back and
wanted to be friends with the people who used him constantly, for everything, I couldnt deal with it
anymore. We fell appart.
Me and his sister seemed to fall into it together. Her husband used Meth. and ultimately he is the one
who introduced it to her and her brother. Anyway, when my true love didnt want to spend time with me
cause he was geeked up with his meth buddies I was spending my time with his sister and her two
young children. She was going through a divorce and having a hard time with her new boy friend, so
when she found someone other than them two who made her feel better about herself, she started
hanging around him more and more. He was a Meth dealer. She didnt like the drug, it always made
her throw up cause it drained down her throat. So I never figured that she would become addicted to
it. But my worst fears became a reality. She used with them smoking it and snorting it. She looked
awful. She left her parents house and left her children behind, and left me behind. I loved her as
much as I possibly could. I tried to help her all the time. I took money and food from her boyfriend !
to her at her dealers house. I never understood why, I thought it was just a wild streak that she didnt
get over after her divorce. When the dealer got caught the third time the judge said enough. He sent
him to bootcamp for 6 months that was in Feburary 2005, my friend was on her way to getting her
kids back and getting her own place to live. Trying very hard to prove that she was able to be on her
own and off of meth. July 2005 we looked at our soon to be appartment on Friday the 22nd of July. I
was so excited we were getting our own place. Monday the 25th we were putting the deposit down.
But we never made it that far. Saturday the 24th day of July my friend was in a car accident after
getting in the car with one of the dealers friends who had been drinking and using meth.. He fled the
scene of the accident after stealing the car of someone who was trying to help her. She told the
paramedics who was driving and that they had just done a hit of Crystal Meth each. She was!
flown to a medical center in Atlanta with suvere head trauma. The cor
otic arteries in her neck were severed ultimately causing a stroke and then 100% brain pressure
before we all made the decision to discontinue life support after 4 days of her suffering. But it was to
late for her, God was calling my angel friend home. I got to hold her hand once before the stroke
while she was awake long enough to tell her I loved her, and to squeezed my hand if she could hear
me. She squeezed my hand and looked up at me so scared. That felt like hope to me. I lost two
people that day. Her and myself. She died physically and I died emotionally. Its been one year and 5
months the 27th of Dec. I feel like there was something else I could have done for her, pushed her a
little harder to stay quit. I miss her everyday, and I honestly believe had it not been for the meth
addiction that she would be here healthy and happy today.
I dont know what its like to be an addict. But I know what its like loosing someone close to you
because of it, its worse than anything you could ever imagine.
PLEASE DONT USE METH. IT WILL KILL YOU. NOT ONLY WILL IT HARM YOUR BODY. BUT IT WILL
RIP YOUR LIFE APPART BEOYND REPAIR.
-Northeast Georgia
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Name = Janice
Testimony = My Story of Addiction
By Janice H.
I started writing this as part of my recovery and partly to free my mind of the many thoughts that have
been bombarding it of late. But the more I thought about it I decided that this should be a letter to
anyone who would listen and maybe be able to use it in their lives either for themselves or for a loved
one. I am an addicted and this is my story.
Let me begin by giving you some background. I am 30 years old, and most of my life I had used
recreational drugs. I used them socially like having a few drinks every now and then or smoking a
joint at a party or maybe dropping a hit of ecstasy at a rave, but it never consumed my life. That was
until this year. That was until I discovered ICE! Now what I am about to tell you may seem like
excuses or me trying to rationalize my loss of self control but what I am really trying to get across is
how quickly and easily (especially if giving the right conditions) this drug can ruin your life.
When the year began I had a great job, a nice home, two cars, and a wonderful family. My family
consisted of my husband Danny, and my four children, Dalton, Dylan, and my two step-children Ethan
and Madison. We had it all the nice six bedroom house, the minivan, and truck everything seem to be
going well, on the surface. The truth was that Danny had not worked for awhile and the bills were
starting to add up. Then in January I was fired. Now at this time my ice usage was becoming more
frequent but I knew I had it under control (that is the deception of this drug). I was fired because my
boss found I was looking for another job but now that I think about it, it was probably for more than
just that. I had missed work on several occasions or come in late because I had not got enough
sleep. Whatever the reason I was fired. So my stress was unbelievable. How was I going to feed my
family or pay my bills? I felt my world crashing in on me and that night I got very, very twea!
ked out on ice and what do you know POOF! All of my worries seemed to disappear. I felt great like I
could take on the world! So my usage became pretty much non-stop.
Time went bye and I got another job and was squeezing bye but all the while I new I had it under
control. Then in September I was laid-off due to cut backs, but it was ok I was still in control. I new I
had it under control when my tire blew out on the way home form my dealer’s, house and caused me
to total my car. When Danny and I were drifting farther and farther apart even in our usage together I
still had control. When I fell asleep behind the wheel and totaled our second car and went to jail for
possession and a DUI I still had control. When the mortgage payment fell behind I was still ok. Now
that I look back on it I was such a fool! I did not waiver in my thought of control until one fateful day
when CPS came knocking on my door! I tested positive and I had to place my kids in the care of my
friends and family! It seems someone had contacted them as to our drug use.
So here it is December and I have ruined everything in my life. I am living in a hotel (did not pay the
mortgage), I am on probation for the next four years and I have felony arrest (not a conviction mind
you just an arrest) that makes it very difficult to find a job. My step-father has not spoke to me since
May and will not even allow me at my parents’ house. My friends have lost some faith in me, and I
have to fight with the side effects of my use (depression, anxiety, and trouble controlling my anger
which I am told can last up to 12-18 months after being clean). Worst of all my children are gone!!
My step-children I have lost custody of completely!!
Now I am not telling this for sympathy. I chose to do what I did and I take full responsibility for it.
What I want to stress here is how this drug completely fooled me! I never once thought IT had
control. But that is the power of this drug. It affects your brain and the way you think and rationalize.
Oh sure I was getting a lot accomplished staying up 2-3 days in a row with no sleep but at what price?
That is the nature of this drug.
Now I have been completely clean of every drug since September when they took my kids, but it is no
picnic. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do and it sucks. I am 30 years old and I have to start
my life all over again. Danny is working and with the drug use out of our lives our relationship is
mending and growing stronger. I am still looking for a job but I know I will find something soon. But
most important I am doing what I have to to get my other 2 children back and hopefully maybe one
day ALL of my children back. It is very hard to sit in this hotel room without my children and hardly
any of my worldly possessions and not be consumed by my depression. But I will do it because I know
now that my family is my only priority no matter what. I will not use any kind of drug ever again for
fear that this may happen again. But it is still the hardest challenge I have ever faced in my life.
If you have never used drugs it is hard for you to understand addiction and I don’t have the desire to
try and explain it to you but just remember this, that if you have a loved one going through recovery
and/or addiction they need all the support that you can give them and try to remember that they are
literally battling for their lives!!!
If you do use drugs even socially please listen to me, IF I LOST CONTROL ANYONE COULD!!! This
drug is 80-90% addictive after first use! The damage it does to your mind and body not only
physically but mentally as well can take years to fix and in some cases the damage is NOT fixable. So
please don’t let ICE destroy your life the way it has done mine! I highly suggest you read the book
“Crystal Meth They Call It Ice” by Mary F. Holley, MD. It was quite an eye opener for me.
Well that is my story and I hope someone out there will be able to learn from my mistakes. I know that
it is hard to stay clean because reality is a real bitch sometimes, well, most of the times. But I have
come to realize that it does not matter what people are saying about you, and believe me everyone is
talking about your problem and your life, all that matters is stay true to yourself and to the ones you
hold dearest to you. This will be a battle that you will have to face for the rest of your life! I know
because I am living it everyday! But I hope and feel that with time and sobriety that all will get better.
After all once you have hit rock bottom the only way is up right? When everything first began to go
wrong I spent a lot of time thinking that I had done someone wrong. That some action of mine in the
past had brought this string of bad luck onto me but I know now that I have to stop with that kind of
thinking. I am a strong believer in Karma and I know that!
everything happens for a reason, if CPS had not taken my kids what may have happened to them
during my addiction? If they were here with me know they would be cramped in a one room hotel
room feeling the stress of their parents but instead they are with family and friends in a loving and
caring environment while mommy and daddy get their lives straightened out. I am glad that
something happened to open my eyes to what I could not see on my own. I am grateful that my
children are happy and healthy and I know that I will be able to bring them home soon! With hard
work and love I will rebuild my family and my life!
Remember be true to yourself and have faith in Karma!!
Love,
Janice
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