| Poems |
Crystal
A mutual friend introduced us
And I liked you right away
I wanted to know you better
so I invited you to stay
As the days went by we grew closer
you were always by my side
when my other friends would come around
you and I would run and hide.
Together we’d go everywhere
so many places we have been
I even took you to work with me
But you were never seen.
I needed you more often
the weekends weren’t enough
so we became inseparable
Being apart was just too tough.
You helped me to forget my past
and all the pain it had inflicted
and numbness filled my broken heart
you and I were connected
When you weren’t around I longed for you
I’d keep calling out your name
and soon you would come back around
and wash away the shame.
My world revolved around you
as I lost the bond I’d had
with myself, and others too
But without you I’d go mad.
All my life I have believed
That myself I could protect
But it seems that since I met you
I am the one I most neglect
I look into the mirror,
But do not see my own reflection
But traces of you all over my face
Can this be my direction?
Now here I am alone
and crawling on the floor
begging you to leave me
please just walk out the door.
I KNOW I can get over you
If you will just let me go.
I hate the person I’ve become
Since you first said “hello”
I miss love, happiness and ambition
I want to have them near
but they will never come around
as long as you are here.
I loved you , now I hate you
you were never my friend
you only took, you never gave
right up until the end.
Walking away from you is hard
but I know I’ll pass the test
You have nothing good to offer me
You are .....Crystal Meth.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
In God's Sweet Time
by Dean B 1997
Late one night, some years ago,
a tempting bowl of cookie dough,
A taste or two... or so I thought,
one small pinch would hit the spot,
Later on ..... The empty bowl,
a heavy heart, a guilty soul,
That inner war, most quiet din,
had evidenced the latest sin,
So, where do all these memories go,
that perpetuate forgotten goals,
Of life serene and thoughts sublime,
'you do the time, you did the crime',
And on and on life took it's toll,
on self esteem, the highs, the low,
Until one day in God's sweet time,
I asked for help, and help was mine.
Recovery came in spurts and bites,
On habits past, now shone new lights.
For all alone, too big a task,
A daily chore, for help to ask.
A friendly voice came through the air,
O sponsor dear, can this be fair,
To give up all, how can I trust?
The fear’s too great, I feel I must,
Begin somewhere, perhaps today,
To trudge the path another way,
Pray read a thought or think to pray,
And meditate, though day by day,
To any lengths, I’m not so sure,
Through all the tears, is there a cure?
And then one day, in God’s sweet time,
I asked for help and help was mine!
That heavy cross that once I bore,
Has lightened now, a lesser chore.
I’ve learned to trust in tried and true,
I’ve learned to trust the good in you.
I’ve shared my pain, my hopes and dreams
And given up those selfish schemes
Of grander plans and thoughts verbose.
I raise my glass and drink a toast;
“A dozen Steps!” that line by line,
Most surely say, “His Will”, don’t whine
For better things are sure to come,
Life’s rythym now, a calmer drum,
Those fragile thoughts are overcome,
The struggles’ past, “Thy will be done.”
And still today, in God’s sweet time,
I ask for help and help is mine.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Recovery Story
It all started several years ago
While struggling with my weight,
I turned to a drug called Tina
To help me turn away from my plate
So Now I’ve tricked my mind
By placing meth in a capsule pill
Just a little here and there
My apetite it will kill
I recalled each event that
Has led me to this place
It Seems just like yesterday
I couldn’t bear to look at the sores on my face
Using Meth to escape a childhood
Filled with pain and lies
I was Just a child longing for love
But instead – abuse and silent cries
So I turned to drinking and drugs
Giving up all faith and hope
My new found love Crystal Meth
This would help me cope
I abandoned my children
Turned my back on friends
Left my family n husband
Didn’t bother with amends
I took stuff that wasn’t mine
This addiction I had to feed
I became a evil monster
while I destroyed my body with speed
I sold my possessions and things
And baragained with my soul
For life without Crystal Meth
I would never be whole
I hurt the ones who love me
Their love I couldn't afford
But, above all I hurt
My Christ, my Savior, my Lord
So no longer able to bear the pain
My life I decided to end
I was giving up to death ,
My soul was already dead
from shame & sin
So I decide what my weapon
of choice shall be
Then I pull up my sleeves
‘til fresh skin I see
As I lay in a my pool of blood
The room twists and swirls
Thought began to caresses me
Of family, friends, my girls
What have I done I cried!
I’m not ready to die just yet!
Help me Lord! I’ve made a mistake!
Jesus had died so I can live! He’s paid my DEBT!
So get thee behind me, satan
In the name of Jesus Christ
I'm taking back what's mine
I'm taking back my life!
So Please Listen to me
Before it’s too late
If you think your’e addicted
Take action! Get Help! Don’t Wait!
There’s Healing with God by your side!
Just seek and you will find it
Make a promise to be clean
And stand firmly behind it.
Make your vow , take it today
God’s called you to act
Its time to obey
The only regret you will admit
Is you took way too long to quit
Meth is Killing , stealing and destroying
So many are daily affected
So many helpless children
Are being totally neglected.
Meth fills home with nothing
But proverty
Children not knowing love or hugs
What little money comes to them
Are spent on drinking and drugs
Moms and Dads are in Prison
Leaving children abandoned every day
They shouldn’t have to live like that
God planned a better way
So we come here this evening
With the topic “Meth Addiction”
It is in the need of everyone’s attention
The Schools, The Community, The Church
This Topic is in need of mention!
This meth problem is a real one,
epidemic in its stage.
It's time we pull together
in this war we've chose to wage
The victims are our friends, family, children,
Our parents and even the old.
Most having horror stories
they felt better left untold.
Lives are shattered everywhere.
Youth is robbed and lost.
Our world must come together
or we will continue to pay the cost.
This battle won't be an easy one;
There’s So much to be resolved.
There is those who do the most they can;
There is those who won't be involved.
The only way that we will win,
defeating drugs one day,
Is everyone doing some small part
and helping in some way.
We need prevention and education;
We have turned our backs too long.
Its time to take a stand
And some how make right ,this wrong
We need to talk about it,
Gain some understanding.
And then to take the action
With God doing the commanding...
Before we lose another life!
our good friend or precious son.
Before we're filled with deep regret
for what we haven't done.
Let's try to play some simple part
in cleaning up this mess.
Addiction is an issue, A Demon
that is vital we address.
So if you are with me
Want to take a stand
I will share with you
my strength and source
First -Its My Lord My Savior Next:
The White Co. Meth Task Force!
"TJ"
A mutual friend introduced us
And I liked you right away
I wanted to know you better
so I invited you to stay
As the days went by we grew closer
you were always by my side
when my other friends would come around
you and I would run and hide.
Together we’d go everywhere
so many places we have been
I even took you to work with me
But you were never seen.
I needed you more often
the weekends weren’t enough
so we became inseparable
Being apart was just too tough.
You helped me to forget my past
and all the pain it had inflicted
and numbness filled my broken heart
you and I were connected
When you weren’t around I longed for you
I’d keep calling out your name
and soon you would come back around
and wash away the shame.
My world revolved around you
as I lost the bond I’d had
with myself, and others too
But without you I’d go mad.
All my life I have believed
That myself I could protect
But it seems that since I met you
I am the one I most neglect
I look into the mirror,
But do not see my own reflection
But traces of you all over my face
Can this be my direction?
Now here I am alone
and crawling on the floor
begging you to leave me
please just walk out the door.
I KNOW I can get over you
If you will just let me go.
I hate the person I’ve become
Since you first said “hello”
I miss love, happiness and ambition
I want to have them near
but they will never come around
as long as you are here.
I loved you , now I hate you
you were never my friend
you only took, you never gave
right up until the end.
Walking away from you is hard
but I know I’ll pass the test
You have nothing good to offer me
You are .....Crystal Meth.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
In God's Sweet Time
by Dean B 1997
Late one night, some years ago,
a tempting bowl of cookie dough,
A taste or two... or so I thought,
one small pinch would hit the spot,
Later on ..... The empty bowl,
a heavy heart, a guilty soul,
That inner war, most quiet din,
had evidenced the latest sin,
So, where do all these memories go,
that perpetuate forgotten goals,
Of life serene and thoughts sublime,
'you do the time, you did the crime',
And on and on life took it's toll,
on self esteem, the highs, the low,
Until one day in God's sweet time,
I asked for help, and help was mine.
Recovery came in spurts and bites,
On habits past, now shone new lights.
For all alone, too big a task,
A daily chore, for help to ask.
A friendly voice came through the air,
O sponsor dear, can this be fair,
To give up all, how can I trust?
The fear’s too great, I feel I must,
Begin somewhere, perhaps today,
To trudge the path another way,
Pray read a thought or think to pray,
And meditate, though day by day,
To any lengths, I’m not so sure,
Through all the tears, is there a cure?
And then one day, in God’s sweet time,
I asked for help and help was mine!
That heavy cross that once I bore,
Has lightened now, a lesser chore.
I’ve learned to trust in tried and true,
I’ve learned to trust the good in you.
I’ve shared my pain, my hopes and dreams
And given up those selfish schemes
Of grander plans and thoughts verbose.
I raise my glass and drink a toast;
“A dozen Steps!” that line by line,
Most surely say, “His Will”, don’t whine
For better things are sure to come,
Life’s rythym now, a calmer drum,
Those fragile thoughts are overcome,
The struggles’ past, “Thy will be done.”
And still today, in God’s sweet time,
I ask for help and help is mine.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Recovery Story
It all started several years ago
While struggling with my weight,
I turned to a drug called Tina
To help me turn away from my plate
So Now I’ve tricked my mind
By placing meth in a capsule pill
Just a little here and there
My apetite it will kill
I recalled each event that
Has led me to this place
It Seems just like yesterday
I couldn’t bear to look at the sores on my face
Using Meth to escape a childhood
Filled with pain and lies
I was Just a child longing for love
But instead – abuse and silent cries
So I turned to drinking and drugs
Giving up all faith and hope
My new found love Crystal Meth
This would help me cope
I abandoned my children
Turned my back on friends
Left my family n husband
Didn’t bother with amends
I took stuff that wasn’t mine
This addiction I had to feed
I became a evil monster
while I destroyed my body with speed
I sold my possessions and things
And baragained with my soul
For life without Crystal Meth
I would never be whole
I hurt the ones who love me
Their love I couldn't afford
But, above all I hurt
My Christ, my Savior, my Lord
So no longer able to bear the pain
My life I decided to end
I was giving up to death ,
My soul was already dead
from shame & sin
So I decide what my weapon
of choice shall be
Then I pull up my sleeves
‘til fresh skin I see
As I lay in a my pool of blood
The room twists and swirls
Thought began to caresses me
Of family, friends, my girls
What have I done I cried!
I’m not ready to die just yet!
Help me Lord! I’ve made a mistake!
Jesus had died so I can live! He’s paid my DEBT!
So get thee behind me, satan
In the name of Jesus Christ
I'm taking back what's mine
I'm taking back my life!
So Please Listen to me
Before it’s too late
If you think your’e addicted
Take action! Get Help! Don’t Wait!
There’s Healing with God by your side!
Just seek and you will find it
Make a promise to be clean
And stand firmly behind it.
Make your vow , take it today
God’s called you to act
Its time to obey
The only regret you will admit
Is you took way too long to quit
Meth is Killing , stealing and destroying
So many are daily affected
So many helpless children
Are being totally neglected.
Meth fills home with nothing
But proverty
Children not knowing love or hugs
What little money comes to them
Are spent on drinking and drugs
Moms and Dads are in Prison
Leaving children abandoned every day
They shouldn’t have to live like that
God planned a better way
So we come here this evening
With the topic “Meth Addiction”
It is in the need of everyone’s attention
The Schools, The Community, The Church
This Topic is in need of mention!
This meth problem is a real one,
epidemic in its stage.
It's time we pull together
in this war we've chose to wage
The victims are our friends, family, children,
Our parents and even the old.
Most having horror stories
they felt better left untold.
Lives are shattered everywhere.
Youth is robbed and lost.
Our world must come together
or we will continue to pay the cost.
This battle won't be an easy one;
There’s So much to be resolved.
There is those who do the most they can;
There is those who won't be involved.
The only way that we will win,
defeating drugs one day,
Is everyone doing some small part
and helping in some way.
We need prevention and education;
We have turned our backs too long.
Its time to take a stand
And some how make right ,this wrong
We need to talk about it,
Gain some understanding.
And then to take the action
With God doing the commanding...
Before we lose another life!
our good friend or precious son.
Before we're filled with deep regret
for what we haven't done.
Let's try to play some simple part
in cleaning up this mess.
Addiction is an issue, A Demon
that is vital we address.
So if you are with me
Want to take a stand
I will share with you
my strength and source
First -Its My Lord My Savior Next:
The White Co. Meth Task Force!
"TJ"
Poem written for her son who is an addict to meth
When something falls from high above
Or our significant other falls out of love
When promotions are handed to others than you
Lives may seem stranded and you can’t make due
Remember the path that led you astray
All the glory you faced before that day
Remember the good, remember the bad
But don’t forget what made you sad
I think you know just how to change
From all the things that have made you strange
Will you change what destroyed your dreams
Will destruction continue with methamphetamines?
There’s something within you
I know you are strong
I believe you can fight it
Because I’ve know you so long
Why are you so weak?
Why can’t you walk by?
Is it something you seek?
Are you wanting to die?
I’m convinced your will power is something you’ll use
Taking that step that I know you will choose
For if you don’t know just how to stay strong
I’ll know that your life won’t last very long
I’m tired and restless and you don’t even care
You’ve made heartaches for family
who wish they were there
We want you home, we want you back
But my God aren’t you tired of the life you lack?
Maybe I’m wrong to think it’s your choice
Maybe the drugs have taken your voice
But you used to speak your mind with such pride
Have you lost the ability to even confide?
If all is true then these words are a waste
I’m always there for you although not face to face
If you have no hope to even stop using
I’ll have to move on from all of your abusing
I’m sorry if things aren’t so good for you
I only had wished that my son would pull through
Though obvious to me, you’ve chosen to flee
From the world that you live in
To your own misery
Now a new fate has come to take you away
From the life that once led you completely astray
Alone with no family, no friends to stop by
I won’t let my heart break from the pain when I cry
Your life will unfold into nothing but fiction
The lies that you told from your "little" addiction
I won’t hurt anymore, I will be strong
I wish you could of seen all the dreams you made
wrong
Take care of the boy I still see in your eyes
And be sure to call home at least once or twice
I’m sorry to leave you but I have to go
I’ll remember those days you were safe at home
I’ll remember the son that was once alive
The energy you gave, so fresh and revived
Goodbye to the life you’ve chosen to trade
Goodbye to all of the dreams that I made
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Recovery Poem From Darla
There is a monster who lives in my head, He talks to
me softly he wants me dead.
He tells me this time I'll stay in control. He tells me not
to let anyone know.
He convinces me that no one cares, He whispers the
pain is to much to bear.
He tells me how wonderful I will feel. He tells me he
loves me and it is real.
He tells me not to call anyone, My heart starts racing,
he tells me it will be fun.
He tells me not to think of past times, He promises I
can do it just once this time
Who is this monster who calls me by name, RELAPSE,
he waiting to start the game.
Written while in detox 02-22-2002 by a addict named
Darla
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The Addict
by Dean "1999"
The addict is a special case,
of feelings gone awry.
Alone, yes, in a crowded place,
perhaps a real nice guy.
Or gal, its not to say the least,
both fret in stereo,
Beauty or the savage beast,
they never seem to know.
The world is wrong, a bitter place,
but deep, way down inside,
He'd rather die, than lose face,
he'd rather run and hide,
Distractions are the easy route,
with drugs and sex and food,
Adrenalin, beyond a doubt,
crime and dice will do.
The child inside is safe, endured,
he'll grieve another day,
No more hurt, he'll make sure,
someone else will pay,
Someday, maybe things will change,
he won't have to live this lie,
He'll laugh and dance and shout and sing,
All the music trapped inside.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Recovery Tastes Sweeter
by Dean B 1998
Give up the Sugar, who me.
Well, a sweet tooth
Runs down... my family tree!
But, one bite of sugar means ten!
So giving it up sure makes sense!
It all boils down to how much I want it,
My recovery tastes better,
I better not taunt it! ....
When something falls from high above
Or our significant other falls out of love
When promotions are handed to others than you
Lives may seem stranded and you can’t make due
Remember the path that led you astray
All the glory you faced before that day
Remember the good, remember the bad
But don’t forget what made you sad
I think you know just how to change
From all the things that have made you strange
Will you change what destroyed your dreams
Will destruction continue with methamphetamines?
There’s something within you
I know you are strong
I believe you can fight it
Because I’ve know you so long
Why are you so weak?
Why can’t you walk by?
Is it something you seek?
Are you wanting to die?
I’m convinced your will power is something you’ll use
Taking that step that I know you will choose
For if you don’t know just how to stay strong
I’ll know that your life won’t last very long
I’m tired and restless and you don’t even care
You’ve made heartaches for family
who wish they were there
We want you home, we want you back
But my God aren’t you tired of the life you lack?
Maybe I’m wrong to think it’s your choice
Maybe the drugs have taken your voice
But you used to speak your mind with such pride
Have you lost the ability to even confide?
If all is true then these words are a waste
I’m always there for you although not face to face
If you have no hope to even stop using
I’ll have to move on from all of your abusing
I’m sorry if things aren’t so good for you
I only had wished that my son would pull through
Though obvious to me, you’ve chosen to flee
From the world that you live in
To your own misery
Now a new fate has come to take you away
From the life that once led you completely astray
Alone with no family, no friends to stop by
I won’t let my heart break from the pain when I cry
Your life will unfold into nothing but fiction
The lies that you told from your "little" addiction
I won’t hurt anymore, I will be strong
I wish you could of seen all the dreams you made
wrong
Take care of the boy I still see in your eyes
And be sure to call home at least once or twice
I’m sorry to leave you but I have to go
I’ll remember those days you were safe at home
I’ll remember the son that was once alive
The energy you gave, so fresh and revived
Goodbye to the life you’ve chosen to trade
Goodbye to all of the dreams that I made
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Recovery Poem From Darla
There is a monster who lives in my head, He talks to
me softly he wants me dead.
He tells me this time I'll stay in control. He tells me not
to let anyone know.
He convinces me that no one cares, He whispers the
pain is to much to bear.
He tells me how wonderful I will feel. He tells me he
loves me and it is real.
He tells me not to call anyone, My heart starts racing,
he tells me it will be fun.
He tells me not to think of past times, He promises I
can do it just once this time
Who is this monster who calls me by name, RELAPSE,
he waiting to start the game.
Written while in detox 02-22-2002 by a addict named
Darla
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The Addict
by Dean "1999"
The addict is a special case,
of feelings gone awry.
Alone, yes, in a crowded place,
perhaps a real nice guy.
Or gal, its not to say the least,
both fret in stereo,
Beauty or the savage beast,
they never seem to know.
The world is wrong, a bitter place,
but deep, way down inside,
He'd rather die, than lose face,
he'd rather run and hide,
Distractions are the easy route,
with drugs and sex and food,
Adrenalin, beyond a doubt,
crime and dice will do.
The child inside is safe, endured,
he'll grieve another day,
No more hurt, he'll make sure,
someone else will pay,
Someday, maybe things will change,
he won't have to live this lie,
He'll laugh and dance and shout and sing,
All the music trapped inside.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Recovery Tastes Sweeter
by Dean B 1998
Give up the Sugar, who me.
Well, a sweet tooth
Runs down... my family tree!
But, one bite of sugar means ten!
So giving it up sure makes sense!
It all boils down to how much I want it,
My recovery tastes better,
I better not taunt it! ....
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